A year ago, my brother nudged me to attend a three-day immersive course in the hills outside Taipei. It was conducted entirely in Mandarin and rooted mostly in ancient Chinese teachings -- drawing from Confucianism, Taoism, Buddhism, and classical Chinese literature, with touches of new age spirituality, Christianity and Islam.
My Mandarin isn’t strong, and the sceptic in me imagined three days of awkward confusion, nodding along while quietly lost in a sea of unfamiliar traditional Chinese phrases.
But I said yes, and I’m glad I did. The course became a mirror, a compass, and a much-needed journey inward, during a season of life where I had more questions than answers.
At the heart of it was one powerful theme: change. Not just how to navigate it, but how to initiate it, own it and grow through it.
Here are eight truths from that experience that continue to shape how I live and work.
1. Change is the only constant
Greek philosopher Heraclitus said this 2,500 years ago. Obvious as it sounds, it remains surprisingly hard to live out.
We resist change because it threatens our comfort zones. That resistance shows up as stress, frustration, or the longing for things to stay the same. But everything is always shifting, from our thoughts, emotions, relationships, environments, to the world around us.
If we don’t move with change, we risk clinging to outdated versions of ourselves and being left behind.
I’ve seen this in my own industry. Two decades ago, PR used to revolve around press releases, media luncheons, and journalist coffees. I used to print media kits and fax event invites, back when fax machines still ruled the earth.
Then came digital. Suddenly, it was about content strategy, community building, cross-platform storytelling and influencer engagement. Firms that didn’t catch up disappeared, others reinvented themselves.
Now with Gen-AI, we’re shifting again. Those who adapt stay relevant. Those who don’t fade out.
2. The only person you can change is… You.
I used to get frustrated when people behaved in ways I disagreed with. “Why can’t they just change?” I’d think.
But people don’t change just because we want them to. What helped was shifting my my mindset, boundaries, behaviours and response. Even if the other person didn’t change, the space between us did. Sometimes the tension softened. Sometimes I simply felt lighter, having let go of my own expectations.
I still get triggered, of course. But I’m better at recognising those moments and redirecting my energy towards growth rather than frustration.
Each of us has our own journey. The only part we can control is the role we play.
3. Those who don’t adapt get left behind
Thriving isn’t about being the smartest or the strongest. It’s about staying steady at the core while being flexible at the edges.
The problem is, we often hold on to what once worked, long after they’ve stopped serving us. Comfort tricks us into believing yesterday’s tools will carry us through tomorrow.
As an entrepreneur, I’m reminded of this daily. Running a small firm means constantly navigating uncertainty. Survival isn’t about size or resources - its about how quickly we adapt to new situations and challenges.
As the proverb goes,
"If the mountain won't come to Muhammad,
Muhammad must go to the mountain".
When the world doesn’t shift for us, we must shift for it.
4. No one hat fits every occasion
We all carry different sides of ourselves -- the one who leads, the one who supports, the one who holds space, the one who speaks up.
But sometimes we get too attached to a single role. We lock ourselves into being ‘the expert’ or ‘the nurturer,’ forgetting we’re more than that.
The key is in asking, “What does this moment need from me?”
I’ve found this especially true in parenting. Some days, my kids need the firm mum who sets boundaries. Other days, they need the gentle, supportive one who listens without judgement. Consistency, I’ve learned, is about being steady in love, even if it looks different each time.
It’s the same at work. Sometimes we’re called to lead. Other times, the greater act of leadership is stepping back so others can rise. No one hat fits every occasion, and learning to switch with grace is what makes us whole.
5. Knowing is not the same as Doing
Quoting Confucius:
“I hear and I forget.
I see and I remember.
I do and I understand.”
听而易忘 见而易记 做而易懂
We often assume that once we know something, we’ve already changed. But knowing is just the starting line. Doing is where the transformation begins.
There’s a stark difference between knowledge and lived experience. We may know that walking 10,000 steps a day is good for us, but if we spend most of our time sitting at a desk, that knowledge changes nothing. It’s only when we act on it that it becomes real.
Growth happens in the messy, imperfect space between knowing better and doing better. It’s not knowledge, but follow-through, that makes the difference.
For instance, I could attend the retreat I’ve been sharing about, but if I don’t apply the lessons to my life, the experience is wasted.
6. We become what we practise
Aristotle once said,
“We are what we repeatedly do.
Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
Transformation doesn’t come from a single breakthrough, but from consistent effort until it becomes part of who we are. It’s like training a muscle. The more we use it, the stronger it becomes.
When things get difficult, it’s important to find reasons to keep going. That’s often where the deepest shifts take root.
That said, not everything deserves repetition. Some negative behaviours, like lashing out in anger, should stop the moment we notice them.
Each day, we get to choose what to carry forward and what to leave behind.
7. Being “right” isn’t always worth it
Win the argument,
Lose the person.
赢了道理，输了人。
How often do tensions flare over things as trivial as the “right” way to squeeze a tube of toothpaste?
We all want to be heard. But pushing to win often erodes the very relationship we’re trying to protect.
Even when we are right, it rarely matters for long. People grow. Contexts shift. What felt true yesterday might not hold tomorrow.
Letting go of being right doesn’t mean staying silent or pretending to agree. It means pausing to ask:
“How do I want to show up right now?”
“What matters more - being right, or our relationship?”
Being right is fleeting. What lasts is how we made the other person feel.
Changing my perspective, and releasing the need to be right has strengthened some of my closest relationships in ways winning never could.
8. Awareness makes change possible
Before we can change anything, we have to see it clearly.
Awareness means noticing what’s going on inside us without judgement. It allows us to stop reacting blindly and start choosing consciously.
We often judge others by their actions without considering the fears, wounds and beliefs beneath. Too often, we get wrapped up in our own stories that we miss theirs.
Sometimes, the way others respond to us is a mirror, reflecting how we’re showing up too.
When we can see ourselves, others, and the space in between more clearly, that’s when change begins.
To be continued…
Soon, I’ll return to the hills outside Taipei for Level 2 of this course, a four-day, three-night immersion.
I don’t know what this next chapter will bring, but I know I’ll walk into it with greater awareness, and be back to share what I learn next.
Until then, here’s something for you to sit with:
Where in your life are you resisting change?
What might shift if, instead of resisting, you chose to lean in?
For further reading
How to Stop the Pain of Wishing People Were Different, Greater Good Magazine